You should stay away from your potential. I mean, that is something you should leave absolutely alone! You’ll mess it up! It’s potential, leave it! And anyway, it’s like your bank balance, you know - you always have much less than you think…Leave it as the door locked within yourself…You don’t want to find out that the most you could possibly achieve, if you gave it your all, if you harvested every screed of energy within you, and devoted yourself to improving yourself, that all you would get to, would be maybe eating less cheesy snacks.

personifyingchaos:

Dylan Moran on adulthood

It takes you three quarters of an hour to find your face and apologise to it.
And scientists, those frauds, seize on this and try and use it as proof of the mysteries of human consciousnesses and the unknowable nature of the brain, which is rubbish! The brain is the simplest organ in the body. It only has three bits. There’s the front bit, which is the bit you scratch when you come in at half-one in the morning and the person you live with says, “where the fuck were you,” the middle bit, which tries to come up with the excuse, and the back bit, which plays the last song that was on in the pub.
Tequila! It’s not even a drink, it’s just a way of getting the police around without using the phone.

(Source: browndruidess)

pippinstewardofgondor:

Wine lolly! Inspired by Dylan Moran

OMG I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!

pippinstewardofgondor:

Wine lolly! Inspired by Dylan Moran

OMG I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!

waxjism:

slowly-tongued-by-stephen-fry:

whybananaswhy:

Dylan Moran - Life (a quick summary)

[x]

GARDENING GARDENING GARDENING DEATH.

It is happening to me.

Dylan Moran: Telling it like it is

ifeelbetterer:

Dylan Moran, What It Is.

Dylan Moran is my spirit animal, no lies.

(Source: mattyberninger)