It takes you three quarters of an hour to find your face and apologise to it.
And scientists, those frauds, seize on this and try and use it as proof of the mysteries of human consciousnesses and the unknowable nature of the brain, which is rubbish! The brain is the simplest organ in the body. It only has three bits. There’s the front bit, which is the bit you scratch when you come in at half-one in the morning and the person you live with says, “where the fuck were you,” the middle bit, which tries to come up with the excuse, and the back bit, which plays the last song that was on in the pub.
Tequila! It’s not even a drink, it’s just a way of getting the police around without using the phone.
Wine lolly! Inspired by Dylan Moran
OMG I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!